I spent years of my life trying to be worthy of the expectations of the loved ones around me. I fought to have what I needed, what I wanted, what made me look better, more beautiful and capable in my environment.
What a loss of energy! Pain, frustration, loneliness, depression and confusion are just a few of the emotions this mindset brought to me!
I can safely say that years of training in countless schools and all of the accumulated knowledge from my friends, parents and experiences, didn’t teach me even half of what I learned and keep learning from the optimal use of my breath and its wisdom.
Rebirthing Breathwork was my initiation into the regeneration of my cells, the expansion of my intelligence, the beginning of my divinity; My Awakening.
Walking the path of Conscious Breathing introduced me to Unconditional Love. This love helped me look within – with clarity – and connect with my former patriarchal self. Finally I was able to look him in the eyes without trembling!
Do you know what I saw as soon as his gaze shifted? Fear.
I saw the warm nest of fear and its manifestations: Violence, power, insecurity, subjugation, exploitation, corruption, state, religion, poverty, war, competition and social classes…. These were just some of the toys that man created and plays with to entertain his chronic phobias.
Fear is the opposite of love. Fear generates separation and keeps us away from the present moment. It makes us absent from our lives. It makes us hurt those who love us and be tough and hard with ourselves. It allows us to have expectations and not trust our own inner power, or that of the people around us.
My inability to manage feminine energy and intelligence within me – to accept what I cannot measure or understand – made me empathize even more with the opposite sex. I observed that the same thing happened when an insect crawled on me; I wasn’t scared by the insect, but by my complete incompetence to sit quietly and calmly and observe what was happening to me. In other words, I was not afraid of Feminine Energy but rather by my incompetence to sit with its power and qualities…
I find Peace when I choose Love, the gift of Life on the land I breathe. When I breathe, I remember I’m not just breathing oxygen but also energy, the Source that feeds every being or state, including my instinct for self-preservation. When I understood that the Source that energizes every entity in the whole Universe is none other than Love, I was deeply moved!
Love is the answer to fear.
Love is the antibiotic I was looking for to heal every sickness of the soul and body. Love is all I needed to get through the incomprehensible scale of time and space and remain in the absolute and immediate present. Love is the awakening of the Divine in me. It is the universe of abundance; immaterial and material prosperity. It is the implementation of infinite possibilities. It is the elixir of eternal youth.
Love is the glue that holds all the pieces of the puzzle together. It is the knowledge I always have within me whether I choose to acknowledge it or not. It is the eternal joy of the soul, the deep breath when facing the unknown or the improbable.
What I neglected to see is that when I accept, when I forgive, when I cooperate, when I surrender to the present moment; I love.
And I never forget: Whenever I get irritated or angry, I’m afraid. Every time I judge negatively, I am afraid. Every time I practice violence, I am afraid.
And I no longer want to be afraid!
I decided not to waste my energy on this mindset because having a mindset (set mind) is a rigid path I no longer wish to follow.
I decided not to have a mindset but rather be Life itself; which flows and integrates everything.
I have decided to open my arms to the bizarre, the different.
Above all, I always remember and exclaim: Whatever is not Love, is fear!
with Light, Joy and Love,
Sifis A.K. Pagkalinis